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tonite is a bad night for me..

my Petss>>>Xiao Xian struggle for her last breath and dead without our expectation.. N…

I juz fed her this evening…the last eye on her..!!

sad..!!! suddenly feel so painful in my heart when i get know of the bad news…I can still remember the time when i meet u..fed u..

although it is juz a little…tiny…pet for me..

N i juz spend 1 month to own it…

BUT..i can’t accept that it died soooooo ACCIDENTALLY!!!!

i shout…i cry…as I can’t take it to see the last eye on it..

coz I duwan leave a bad inspiration of it in my HeArT..=(

Now I dun think i will keep any pets in this short period anymore..I am damn hard to accept that the things which i owned to leave away from me..*SoB SoB*

IsHHHHHH….

SoRrY XIaO XiaN…

i hope u will leave in peace…=$

harlO my invisible frenszz… 

y i bcum so emo emo eh>>???

i scared of smtg will happen now…

izit wat we own now will change sum times in the future???

i start to think it off…

izit u both the same?? or all of u also like tat??

i am confusing…u know the reason y i am scaring??

coz i duwan past it again..i duwan the bad feeling growing in my heart again…mayb u dun understand kua…hh..funny right??

i am wondering how if sumday it will happen..against us..

will it b a gud ending?? or the ending not we wish to be happen??

fake a smile..?? if sumday u fade away from my heart..

i will missing u…its the only thing keep me wishing on a wishing star!!!!

最近我的天空有些灰，不知不觉，我也被这种沉重的气氛搞得心情也跟着蓝。。。

原本今天要出去走走，散散心，也为了逃避一些事情。。

但思想前后，我还是做了一些令我意外的事。。。算了吧！！反正逃避不是方法！！

常常开了一些不该开的玩笑，做了一些不该做的事。。

往往造成祸害后，才不自觉地觉得很惭愧。。很内疚。。。

昨夜，我再次失眠了。。为了最近的心情。。！！为了最近发生的事。。！！我决定放手，不再纠缠在让你我都痛苦的深渊。。。我不懂我们为何会造成这样，但我觉得好累。。或许放手，是一种美丽的解脱吧！！

另外，我也发现，原来我的努力大家都看得见。。

虽然曾受过不少委屈，虽然我不会太在意这些不公平。。

但原来大家都知道，那天，我真的好感动！！！

尤其是一位长辈对我说的话。。。

“娴，你这个人，往往就是把所有的委屈忍受在心底，自己承担全部。。你这样下去，你一定会承受不了。。”

听完后，我的泪不听使唤地掉了下来，心里很感动。。！！

其实我懂大家都很疼我，谢谢你们！！

还有，对不起！！我不是生气你。。。

只是，我的心没办法承受这么多。。我只是想一个人冷静下来。。

你常怪我，说我什么事都不和你分享。。其实很多事，我一直都用开玩笑的方式告诉你。。目的是不想让你看穿我内心的一面。。一两件我还能忍受，用我的方式去消化。。但是一旦太多的事情累计下来，我不知我能用多久的时间来度过那种椎心的煎熬。。！！我承认，很多时候，我故作坚强。。假装用面具来逃避。。那是因为我不想再次倒在你怀里。。痛哭一场。。！！我相信，你一定也不想看到我脆弱的样子，对吧？！

这时候的我，也是我最脆弱的时候。。。请给我一些时间去沉淀自己的心情。。

对不起，我需要发泄。。我保证，我会很快恢复那充满活力的样子。。

嘿嘿。。很久没在这留下我心情的点点滴滴了。。
记得有位朋友说过，若我没在这留言，就代表我很好，一切安好。。
其实我也希望是这样，若生活真能如此，那该多好？？

第一次用华语写下我的字言片语，果然有另一种滋味。。
今天是二零零七年的最后一天，我躺着，思绪慢慢回到这整年经历过的事。。。
今年，真是我经历最多难忘事迹的一年。。。
从失去。。得到。。再经历失去。。又失而复得。。。
辗辗转转的。。一波接一波的感情转折，包括爱情，友情，亲情等等。。。
另外又遭繁重的课业。。令我意想不到的种种状况。。。
接二连三的发生在我及身边几位朋友身上。。
另大家都措手不及。。只好互相鼓励，互相支撑大家受伤的心灵，互相勉励，以至能重新从人生低潮中站起来，从灰暗中重崭笑颜。。。那种经历，我一定把它收在心上。。或许有天我们大家都分开各寻天空的时候，我仍然拥有这片回忆。。慢慢悉数我们的过去。。。

今天，想趁这个特别的日子。。在这里好好的向一些特别的人说出一些话。。。

首先我要说的是。。曾经我以为失去了一段非常难得的友情。。因为误会，因为彼此都没说出自己的感受。。加上环境的逼迫。。我和她少了以前一齐相处的时光。。其实我非常想念！！但，在我以为不能再找回这段友情时，奇迹出现了。。。她在我最需要支持的时候出现在我身边保护我，给我很大的勇气，渡过那段心力交瘁的日子。。
谢谢你。。我会把你放在心上。。永远永远。。。爱你哦！！！

另外，另外一位朋友，我一向来很在乎她，我不懂她知道吗？？
或许我很少会表现出来，但我知道，她在我心里也是处在一个很重要很重要的位置。。
每当我失意时，她就象是阳光，给我一个温暖的拥抱。。
其实我很感动，很感动。。真的。。。！！
今年她也经历了很多事，心也因此受伤，我很心疼她。。
看到她不再开开心心。。样子也憔悴了不少。。我除了陪她，鼓励她，也不懂还有什么可以做的。。
现在，我知道她变得不太相信人了。。很心酸！！
她是我的开心果，我希望常看到她笑。。
只是最近我和她不知怎了。。我感觉我们的距离越来越远。。。
为了这事，很难过。。。我真的不知该怎办？？？
或许是我的问题吧！！对不起。。。。

接下来。。我要感谢一位在我生命留下足迹的朋友。。。
很感谢你。。让我经历不同的感受。。不同的回忆。。。
让我从难过中更勇敢。。泪水。。曾为了种种不断的流下。。
心曾为了我们的事痛过。。。心里就象被踊了一把刀。。很痛！！
希望你还是以前那个常逗大家开心的开心果。。
把背负的事尽快处理完吧！！
请放心我，我很好。。我会象以前一样的。。
只要你一切安好，难过的事就把它抛开。。记得我们的约定哦！！

接下来，我要告诉一个很重要的人。。。
谢谢你。。！！虽然我不知道未来会怎样。。
但，想告诉你。。我很珍惜你所做的一切。。。
很感动。。很难忘。。。！！
谢谢你包容我的任性。。我的叛逆。。。
谢谢你的谅解。。你的保护。。！！
我会把这份甜蜜好好收着。。希望你也一样。。。！！
我会努力带给你更多的欢乐。。。彼此加油咯!! ＝〕

最后。。要谢谢我身边的朋友。。。思思，滨滨。。还有一些不方便透露的人。。。
还有 DOG GENG..所有帮助我，鼓励我，留言给我，关心我。紧张我的朋友。。
还有最重要的家人。。！！我很爱很爱你们！！！

再见了二零零七！！！

朋友们，请记得。。
～伤心，日子得过。。。
～开心，日子也得过。。。
～不如开开心心过。。。！！！

别忘了，明天会更好！！！

haihai..my frenz…
i’m quite gud now..cheer up a lots d..!!
although sumtimes i’ll feel hard in the midnite..
still thinking tis n tat…still feel hurt n sad..!!
but i’m enjoying my life now..with different frens n work!!
thanz all my fren around me..
sum of u..i even dunno who u r..
but the words from u guys…really make me touch and it bring a lots of meaning to me!!
recently i’m busy with the business game in college…
n from that..i really happy n enjoy it..!!
coz i get to know new frenz..a geng of siao siao frenzz..!!
u guys really bringing a lot happiness for me..i appreciate it!!
n i din regret to join it..i feel lucky coz i din skip myself from it…
haha…we all play till like siao lang..although tired..but it worth!!!!
now..one of my best fren are having her most difficult period..
once i think of her.. i really feel upset with her..really sim tia!!
and from that..the incident she facing make me think back many many things…
i tot we all will happy..will get new element from tat..but..??
everything cum up the end with sadness…
our fate is quite same..what i need to do is make her stand up..
cheer up alwiz..!!i want my KAI XIN GUO back my side!!
hmm..time is really a gud medicine…
anyway..i wana say thank you coz u let me know a lot of things…
although is hard..although is hurt..
but we share the happiness together before..
i know u got a lot of things havn’t settle up..juz..i hope it won’t b tough for u..
i hope u’ll happy too..muackzz!!

harlo!!..it has been a number of days that i didn’t written out smtg d..haha..i noe sum of u r looking eagerly towards this rite?? haha..

hmm..well…now i feel that there are quite a lot of things hiding in my heart deepy..include my real feeling..incidents…n memories too..

however..i dunno wat happen to me..i can’t even shout out wats inside my heart..i juz keep hiding from myself…i try not to think the unhappy facts or sadness d..n i do it!! really!!

i know my fren around me are worry me..concern me a lot!! sumore i had promise them…especially BARbARIAN!!..i know wat she hope on me..i won’t let u dissapointed de..coz..u r very CRUEL..haha..=p and sum of my frens even facing different problem and very miserable too..

wat i doing now is try to happy alwiz..busy with my things and try to care bout my frens around me..and i’m happy coz u guys willing to share ur things with me..haha!!

i hope..thr will b sumone that are able to make me shout out wat i need or feel..i am waiting for it!!..mayb sum day..haha!!

that’s all..n thanz pHin pHin..for accompany me go relax juz now..hahaha..really crazy!! lolxx…

see u next time..stop here..!! =)

Avril Lavigne < When Youre Gone >

I always needed time on my own
I never thought
I’d need you there when I cried

And the days feel like years
when I’m alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart
are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know
is missing too
When you’re gone
The words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you

And the clothes you left
are lying’ on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much
I need you right now?

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart
are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know
is missing too
When you’re gone
The words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were meant for each other
I keep forever
I know we were

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know
is missing too
When you’re gone
The words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

" Dunno y..i like this song very very much..mayb everything is over..
but i clearly know..It will alwiz b part of my MEMORY..it can’t b delete..
juz…i’ll keep it properly..juz hope..>> we are happy with our life !!..n thanz!!..muackzz…"

haihai…to all my lovely frens…
thanz for accompany me…
i know u guys very concern & worry bout me….
i PROMISE…i’ll try my best to get up…
b a happy girl again..!!
juz…what i need is TIME…
i duno how to describe my feeling…juz very hurt!!!
sorry if i can’t tahan n show my sadness in front of u!!!
thanz for all of u ….
miss u all….!!

Hmm…really sad tis few days…
mAyb everything is The 1sT time for me…
Really tough for me to get thru…
duRing this Exam peRiod…
i oso Dunno wAT caN i Do….
why we Bcum like that????
sud I blame smtg to release myself???
i Dunno….really dunno…..
juz a Word..>> SAD!!!